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( this week's Fringe, Vampire Diaries )

I made some gifs for this new Canadian show, a six-ep miniseries that's aired two episodes, called Bomb Girls. If you have some free time and are looking for something femslashy, I HIGHLY recommend it. It follows the lives of four women who work in a munitions factory during the second World War, so it has a lot of great stuff like feminism and women's stories and also, I am very very hopeful, some canon gay. It may yet end in a horrible Brokeback Mountain way, who knows, but for now it seems really sweet. The acting is ... not flawless, I fear, but the costumes are great and it has an awesome period feel. Give it a go - it's only two episodes right now anyway, painless and easy to get into. (I can supply links on request.)

( Argh. )

Sorry for the really self-indulgent bit in the middle, there, guys. I spent a couple of years not talking about my feelings and it didn't really improve them, but I know it's dreadfully dull to read.

Way-too-late obligatory Yuletide post.

I had kind of a weird Yuletide this year where I just felt ... out of it the whole time. I read hardly any fic and, although on the whole I was not unhappy with what I wrote, I didn't really *feel* it. This led to me doing dreadful things like not leaving a comment on my gift fic til the day before reveals, about which I feel guilty even now. So, anyway, I don't have any particular recs because I just read hardly anything.

I received: Velveteen Wizards by

oniongirl, a YW/DCU crossover that's the sequel to Wizards in Winter, my gift last year. These are really darling portal crossover fics and considering the pool of DC + YW fans is really pretty small, are such thoughtful gifts.

I wrote: and remember who I am, a Tris-at-Lightsbridge story for the lovely

staranise. I got an excellent beta from

morbane and some tremendous handholding from

sushiflop, Queen of the Yuletide Cheerleaders,

archiesfrog and

sixth_light.

This was quite fun to write but, warning for those who care about this kind of thing, has a horrendously huge amount of OCs. The excellent prompt, which I used as a summary, was "Can she fit in, and does she really want to?" and asked for insecure!Tris. I didn't quite capture Tris' insecurity in the way I wanted to but I really enjoyed the opportunity to look at Tris in a different light - although Tris' insecurity is quite important it's not an aspect of her character I think about very often, and so that was actually really great.

Ew. I just did twenty minutes of pilates and I smell absolutely *rank*. It's not that I haven't been showering, but I feel like this is a judgement on my holiday diet of junk food and the occasional salad. Ick. Now I need to shower before I go buy tomatoes, poo.

My sister and I were thinking about moving out of our current place because it's a weenie bit expensive ($350/wk) and finding something with our brother that's either a bit cheaper or a bit nicer. Unfortunately he just suggested to a friend of his that he come too - without talking to us. Neither of us get on that well with this guy and I have the impression that he needs a lot of mummying around the house. Argh! I was quite looking forward to a bit more company but there's just no way.

Wellington types, anyone keen to go see Sherlock Holmes tomorrow? All welcome. Day or evening, I'm easy.

ETA: have been snaffled by twitter buddies, ta!

( Sherlock 2x01 )

Meri Kirihimete ki a koutou. A bit late now, but don't forget to slip, slop, slap and wrap. What an amazing day.

Thing I just typed in an email and deleted:

Feel free to tell the Cult of Nice to suck it if you want. (Hm, is "suck it" a misogynist colloquialism, a homophobic one, both, or neither? Should I just have said "fuck off"?) <-- that parenthesis = my thought process constantly atm EXCEPT the moment in a meeting today where I said something incredibly ill-advised to both my bosses. And by ill-advised I don't mean coarse I mean will-really-cause drama. Sigh.

Yeah, I keep thinking that the problems at work are resolved, and they keep being absolutely dire and awful and my favourite co-worker is definitely going to quit and then I'm going to be all alone. Which is terrifying because - well, here's an example of how I feel about my workplace at the moment: I used the phrase "is he on her side?" seriously about workplace dynamics. Motherfucking ugh. I hate that kind of mindset. It's juvenile. It makes you (me) feel defensive constantly which makes you (me) over-read into everything. I don't want to bottle up and I feel like I HAVE to say something, but on the other hand, I don't know how to say anything in a professional mature way because I am so upset. Also, my workplace is ~unbureaucratic and ~egalitarian which translates into: there are no procedures for talking to people when you're unhappy with how work's going, especially when the people who are making you unhappy are your two bosses. Except one of them isn't technically your boss, but she's delegating all this stuff to you that used to be done by the person who she's supposedly replacing, except she's doing none of the shit he did (and this is not handover problems, she's been here for three months now) and it's. ugh.

It's now gotten to the point where it's affecting my life outside work. I owe

sixth_light a beta and I'm way, WAY behind on Yuletide but I spent the weekend sitting on my sofa playing Build-a-Lot 6 and catching up on Leverage. Seriously, pretty much the entire weekend. My room needs cleaning and all my clothes are dirty. Plus, I feel useless all the time at work, and now I'm starting to feel useless outside work too. Small setbacks make me feel like bursting into tears - like the worst PMS, except it's all the damn time. I had such a moment on Wednesday night it was just, ugh. (Fortunately twitter was there for me. <3333)

I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I want to return to my usual fandom-food-and-knitting blogging but, you guys, I'm warning you, I don't know if that's going to happen any time soon.

On the plus side, I'm getting better at making gifs.

Current Music: women seem wicked when you're unwanted, streets are uneven when you're down

I have written one scene of my Yuletide fic. It is over a thousand words.

Pros:
- Hey, it's over the word limit already!

Cons:
- So much fucking exposition, jesus.
- ONE SCENE and it's OVER A THOUSAND WORDS I do NOT HAVE TIME to write something epic this year, ffff.
- If this is going to not be revoltingly boring, I'm going to need a plot. FML.

1. The election. Yeah, whatever, I'm not even going to go there. I went to

hazel et al.'s and got trashed on vodka and revolting apple sours and that enabled me to just kind of not think about anything.

( boring talk about feelings )

4. I'm thinking about maybe going back to study clinical psychology in 2013. This is something I have been thinking about on and off for a couple of years. So I have to investigate more and I am not really looking forward to the concept of being an undergraduate again (fuuuck) and I definitely don't want to halfass another degree but if I did. I think I would probably do a grad dip in clinical psych, then honours, and then try to find a DPsych or PhD programme somewhere overseas who might, like, pay me. Uh, yeah. We'll see about that. I guess I have to email ... careers/study people? Anyway, your thoughts, I want to hear them, especially your thoughts on clinical psychology.

5. And then I'm like, but am I just thinking about this because I don't like my job? Well, sort of, but at least what I'm thinking about switching to is actually a career path. And then I'm like: but shouldn't you get your shit together before trying to do something where grades will really matter? Well. Yeah. But if I knew how, I already would have, so.

6. I have four AO3 invites. I don't really believe that any of you guys need them but if you know anyone who might, hit me up. labellementeuse(at)gmail.

So the thing is, I don't have a television and I have no plans for tomorrow night and I feel strongly like I need to be with My People. And also, consume quite large quantities of alcohol. Basically what I'm saying is, what are you guys doing for election night?

1. As I sort of expected post-get/together, I've had a massive slide into Steve/Tony. IDEK. I guess I did want a new comics fandom & dudeslash pairing after all? In the last 72 hours I think I've read about ... uh ... 200,000-300,000 words of fic? Recs will be accepted with grabby hands and fed into the voracious new-fandom maw. (I still haven't read through

stickmarionette's Steve/Tony primer, gotta get on that; all these different comic 'verses are bothering me. Ultimates? 616? Gah. New company, new multiverse, I know, I know ...)

2. I definitely had a 2 but it's late and I forget what it was. Are we all enrolled to vote? (I ask this every time, IDEKY I bother. Of course you're all enrolled.) Work's really busy but I think we worked out some growing pains with my new manager so that's a big relief and I'm feeling a lot better about it. Finally developing a life around the edges of work too - I had a nice coffee with

aworldinside and

china_shop the other day and then on Saturday I finally finally managed to get out to see

archiesfrog and twisted her arm into doing Yuletide with me, yeah! Also, I got sunburned all over my nose and it's still an attractive magenta. Not burned yet though.

3. Swing dancing is really coming along and it's awesome. I feel pretty grateful to have found something that I feel like, yeah! This is for me! Since I think I've been really flailing around for something for a couple years now and not hitting it. They had a tea dance last night and even though, I mean, Sunday night? I went along and it was legit great. I'm finally starting to be able to follow moves I haven't learned in class, which is a hugely satisfying feeling.

4. Now that it's finally Yuletide season I feel like I can feel the year/season winding down and it's great. Except work is totally mad, but I just booked in for maybe taking a couple days off *before* Christmas and winding down and working on Yuletide stuff and I think it's going to be pretty great. I do like this whole "being able to book in holidays ahead of time" thing, it's sort of brilliant.

( Dear Yuletide writer, )

After a conversation at I did a tumblr photoset (like a graphic, but for lazy and unartistic people) about My Feelings about Donna Noble, based around a quote from Deep Wizardry. Unsurprisingly I've been a little verklempt all day. Donna :(

Fringe commentary below the cut. And by commentary, I really mean, random vowel sounds.

( Fringe 5x06, Those We Left Behind )

1. New rule: if it takes me longer than a tweet to type out, I'm posting about it.
1a. except for politics because if I have to think about the election for longer than 30 seconds at a time I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I look at my posts for the last two elections and just feel guilty at how much more I knew and how much more I cared and was involved but I just can't this year, I just can't.
1b. Sometimes that posting might take place at tumblr.
1c. This is mostly because if I don't get back in the habit of stringing words in sentences on a regular basis Yuletide is going to go very, very badly for me.

2. This might mean that my levels of boringly mundane posts SKYROCKET, so this is just advance defriend-at-will warning!
2a. But this post probably jinxed it, so never mind.

3. Tonight I:
- Washed dishes
- Cooked dinner
- Washed dishes
- Made cake
- Washed dishes
- Took DISGUSTING rubbish out, in the dark and rain down my steep hill (*polishes halo*)
- Knit a 310 st row of lace, fucked it up right at the beginning, began the slow awful process of tinking back
- Watched a lot of Sports Night. I'm at the beginning of season 2 and I expect to get the whole lot done by the end of the weekend.

4. Yuletide! Who wants to talk about Yuletide?

- Yuletide looks MASSIVELY complicated this year, holy crap. I have every confidence that it will actually be fine and straightforward but oh my.
- On the other hand perhaps this will take care of the massive overloading of the servers, ha ha ha.
- Noms! What are we nomming? I'm doing Cats of Grand Central for

trialia and I'll probably end up adding some characters to the Young Wizards fandom (am I correct in my reading that adding characters requires a separate nomination?), but I'm thinking someone is probably going to beat me to nomming the Newsflesh trilogy, so ... I'm not sure what my third will be. Maybe it will be book-related? I don't know. I kind of want some slashy, slashy slash, like with classic 90s slash tropes where one of them is gay, and one of them ~always thought he was straight, IDK, I am just having this massive nostalgia that I'm pretty sure is related to how damn 90s Sports Night is. Bill Clinton is still the President, y'all, and Dana's hair! (Which I love. Unfortunately I think I've got to embrace the fact that 90s hair will always be awesome and a style icon for my hair. Oh well, haters know where to go.) (<-- that way.)

This unscheduled update is brought to you by Connie Willis' To Say Nothing of the Dog.

( Dear Ned and Verity (probable spoilers though none that Willis won't beat you over the head with) )

1. Had such a blast at

get__together that the comedown is kinda stink. On the other hand, my hd is now full of delicious, delicious television and comics. Also,

arysteia may possibly have sold me on the Avengers being my new fandom, which would be really, really great, because I really, really need a new fandom. At any rate huge thanks to all involved, specially the organisers. (Also, it was really neat to meet

aworldinside and

gnine.) (And to see everyone else again! Won't try to namecheck everyone, will fail hopelessly.)

2.

3. ( mega camwhoring re: my new haircut, the hat I knit at g/t )

3. ( emotional reactions to the season 2 finale of Downton Abbey )

Fucking iOS5 kills Stanza. Does anyone know of any alternatives? Ugh.

1. So get_together is taking place on Guy Fawkes weekend, y'all. Who would walk up Mt Vic with me at 8 on Saturday? Are we likely to still be eating then?

2. My bitter, apolitical boss (politics self-described as right-wing fascist) was reading the PREFU today and – I shouldn't find it amusing but sadly I do – getting absolutely riled. Particularly, spending on Health and Education – the two biggest areas of expenditure - is predicted to not increase at all (in 2011 dollars) over the next five years. No changes at all. This is effectively (apparently) something like an 8 – 10% cut in teachers', nurses', doctors' salaries. This means health and education is becoming a smaller proportion of the budget (which does get larger) – i.e. health and education are lower priorities over the next five years. It's all sort of astounding and frustrating and it's added to my increasing feeling of desperation, fury, and incapacity. I just don't see what I can do about it and it's stressing me out.

3. Relatedly,

hazel has been incandescent in classy political rage lately, highly recommended.

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worryingly jolly batman

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This is a self-indulgent post about me being miserable. Again. Scroll, scroll.

Yuletide post

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Grrr

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This is just some whining about my job

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this is a boring update all about me

Urgh

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Yuletide letter!

got to get a Fringe icon.

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grrrrr

g/t fireworks?

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January 2012

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