(no subject)

[labellementeuse]

I found this on my wanders and thought it was important enough to re-post, even with my relatively limited time. Not sure where it originated.

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.

Women should learn self-defence. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.



instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

discussion welcome, as per usual. Repost if you wish.

Comments

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

I would tell my daughters to avoid walking home through dark areas at night and I would show them how to hurt someone if they were grabbed. I probably would, as well. But I think the difference- and this is going to sound so silly- is actually a difference in phrasing: instead of telling them that they should do this and this and this to keep safe, I would tell them that they can do this and this and this to keep safe, that these are steps they can take. Not steps they should take, as a moral obligation: because it is nobody's moral obligation to precenth their own rape.

I admit it's a really narrow distinction, and one that may be unique to me. But I also think it's a distinction between one mindset and the other.

:-/ I have never felt that I wouldn't be safe walking home... and yet...

[shoeless-girl.livejournal.com]

I totally understand your distinction and agree whole heartedly. It's about being aware I think - there are people out there who suck - it's not your fault. Here's what to do if a suckful person attacks you. Don't let fear of them run your life though, sort of thing...

*is not coherent today*