worryingly jolly batman (
labellementeuse) wrote2005-11-30 11:46 am
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I found this on my wanders and thought it was important enough to re-post, even with my relatively limited time. Not sure where it originated.
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defence. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.
instead of that bullshit, how about:
if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
discussion welcome, as per usual. Repost if you wish.
A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defence. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.
instead of that bullshit, how about:
if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.
discussion welcome, as per usual. Repost if you wish.
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She was sharing a schoolies appartment with Jackson, Chris and Pete. Jackson, her most constant male whateverthefuck, forced her into anal sex which she didn't want, and then SHE DIDN'T LEAVE THE ROOM. She went back to the room. She cried to Julia, who told me, but she WENT BACK. This started a week of Lizzy gathering followers (including Pete, thankfully); Chris (Jackson's like-minded, thankfully incompentent, cousin) and Jackson defending themselves and incriminating Lizzy.
This was a huge eyeopener to me, because I live a sheltered existence and this was the first instance of anything like this I'd actually encountered. I was all for kicking him in the balls and blackmailing him with 14 years imprisonment, but Julia promised me she'd tell Lizzy's mother, and I knew that at that restricted point in time (as in, we were all in a removed situation without parentals for the next four days) I'd probably do more harm than good. Jules then told me that Lizzy had been physically abused by her father, and so this shed a bit of light on her psychosis/*why* she went back. But, God, the barrier between slut and nieve is such a very very slim one.
Certainly Jackson is a bastard who needs to *learn*. He talks about girls as 'challenging' and uses charm as lubricant. Julia, who knows him and hadn't kissed anyone a week ago, got sucked in when she had a few drinks. Bec, who was in a delicate courting, was Jackson's aim for a night or two. *Someone* needs to kick him in the balls, take him to the cops, wrap him up yellow humiliation, *anything* to force respect or the seemage of it from him.
But Lizzy... Her headtrip is abuse. She understands it, lives in it, is controlled by it. She'll *choose* a relationship like this over another because she has her form of control. She knows what to expect, as she's had it all before, and at least in this situation she can feel wanted. It's comforting, it's known, she's scared that this existence/past will come to haunt her if she tries to break away from it (which she wants to do). Where is the barrier between her knowledge of sex, her wanting this/anything/something; and the neivity which brings her back to Jackson's room? Certainly he's in the wrong, but she's not helping and I don't know if enforcement by stronger friends would bring her out of her headtrip or force her deeper into it.
Hopefully her mother will help - she divorced the abusive father, and is generally a caring, intelligent person, fostering kids and such. But what do I do? I'm not her friend, and Julia is a weak, insecure person herself, who *didn't* get a shock at this situation. I want to report him to the police and kick him in the balls, and with a few words of Jackson's general personality (no situations, I promised Julia; she knows what I'd do far too well) strangers agree with me. But where are the options, really?
I don't know what I can do, except post this further on and annoy Julia until words are spoken and people change.
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