We're organising an early birthday fund to help him get a new one - twenty or thirty bucks from six or seven people, plus probably some from his parents, adds up to most of a solid (though not as flashy as his old one) new bike.

Jako was upset about not being able to come flatting this year; his father decided to ring up and bitch out Tas, but got me. When I refused to hand over the phone, he tried to tell me that Tas was ruining Jako's dying days by upsetting him constantly, they'd never been anything but nice to her, and didn't she understand he was dying? I told him of course she fucking well understood he was dying, were they stupid (in those exact words), that she wasn't out to upset him, and that accusing her of having affairs was not being nice to her. Then I told him I couldn't listen to him slagging off my friend and hung up.

It was deeply satisfying, I will admit. Ringing up to bitch Tas out is bad enough. Trying to bully me? Whatever, bitches.