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Glenn Colquhoun

The Trick of Standing Upright Here

Not I, some child, born in a marvellous year
will learn the trick of standing upright here.
-- Allen Curnow
The skeleton of the great moa in the
Canterbury Museum, Christchurch



The trick of standing upright here
is the trick of using both feet.


Being born is casting on a row of stitches.
It is a whenua in a plastic bag in the freezer.

Bread is walking back from a dairy with milk.
It is the smell inside of tea-towels.

Red is the sun burning at dusk.
It is kowhaiwhai curling around a rafter.

Meeting is the grip inside a hand.
It is the sound of wet lips.

Black is the colour of the sky at night.
The clothes of old women at church.

White is the sun's paint.
Flax drying on a fence.

A feast is the warm order of plates on a tablecloth.
It is a fat kettle of tea squeezing between tables.

Seafood is fish on the plat4e with lemon.
It is the rattle of cockles in a pot.

Singing is the wind in the trees like a choir.
It is Tom Kelly crooning at three in the morning.

Laughter is the sound of hands clapping.
It is a row of cans falling off a shelf.

Sleep is the feel of clean sheets on skin.
The soft gaps between people on floors.

The sky is a lid left off a tin of biscuits.
It is a man making love to a woman.

The sea is an uneven playing field.
It is the blue eyes of a god.

Remembering is a statue in a park.
It is a face carved in wood.

Growing old is a pattern fading on a dress.
It is collecting pipi at low tide in an apron.

Dying is a casket the shape of a keyhole.
It is a long walk north to the cape.


The art of walking upright here
is the art of using both feet.

Ones is for holding on.
One is for letting go.



A problem while translating the Treaty of Waitangi

A pakeha version: ................... A maori version:

THE FIRST ARTICLE ................... THE FIRST ARTICLE
I am the boss. ..................... You are the boss.

THE SECOND ARTICLE ........................ THE SECOND ARTICLE
You are the boss. ..................... I am the boss.

THE THIRD ARTICLE ........................ THE THIRD ARTICLE
Now that's sorted out ..................... How about those muskets?
put some clothes on,
.. pay your rates,
... get a job
and find a lawyer.



Bred in South Auckland

I drive a car that is falling apart.
There is bog in the body.
There is rust in the doors.
Occasionally it does not have a warrant.
Sometimes I sleep in large rooms full of people.
I eat too much fried bread.
I am late to meetings.
I go to housie
My nose is flat.
I say Raw - tore - loo - uh.

Some people think I am a bloody maori.


I have been to university.
I have a student loan.
I photocopy my tax returns.
Most mornings I read the newspaper.
I make lists of things I have to do and like to cross them off.
I cut apples into quarters before I eat them,
Then I cut the pips out.
I put my name on things.
I listen to talkback radio.
I use EFTPOS.

Some people think I am a typical pakeha.


Last week I drove through a red light,
I did not slow down at a compulsory stop,
I changed lanes on the motorway and did not use my indicator.
When I was a boy I went to see Enter the Dragon,
I took one lesson in kung fu.
My parents made me do my homework.
My brother gave me Chinese burns.
I like beef and pork flavoured two minute noodles.
I light incense when the house smeels.
Once I dug a garden.

Some people think I am a blasted asian.


When I was a boy I learnt to swear in Samoan,
I went to school in Mangere.
I played rugby in bare feet,
Sometimes I shop at the Otara markets.
My family come from overseas.
I used to work in a factory.
Once I helped cook an umu.
When it is summer I wear a lavalava.
I drink pineapple juice.
I like to eat corned beef.

Some people think I must be a flaming coconut.


I think I am the luckiest mongrel I know.



Race Relations

My great grat grandfather was from Luss.
This is a village on the shores of Loch Lomond.
My oarents hang his coat of arms on their wall.

My great great grandmother was a Murray
She lived in Glasgow, by the Clyde.

I don't lnow if their families fought
but I wouldn't be surprised.


Some Murrays live in Whangape.
I guess we are related
except that I am Pakeha
and they are part Te Rarawa.

Somewhere along the line
I have managed to colonise myself.

It is not the first time this has happened.


My grandmother's grandfather is from England.

This has been a problem for the Scots.

I can't forget what I did to myself at Culloden.

Or what Edward Longshanks
did to William Wallace in Braveheart.

I still hate the bastard which of course I am.


And if that's not bad enough
my grandmother's grandmother is German.

And so is my grandmother's mum.

One half of me has lost a war the other half has won.


Even more complicated is the fact
that my mother's father's family are Jacobs
which if I'm not mistaken makes us Jewish,

who of course won't speak to the Germans.


No-one mentions they were from Tasmania.


Sometimes I don't know how to live with myself.

I am a cicil war.


The australians fight the english
...........and keep the scottish happy.

The scottish fight the english
...........and then they fight themselves.

The english are offended
...........and won't speak to the germans.

This annoys the germans
...........who of course annoy the jews.

The pakeha think they own the place.

The maori want us all to go home.


I would if I knew where that was.


Sometimes it seems I'll never win.
Sometimes I never lose.


Gleen Colquhoun is a modern NZ poet: go read The Art of Walking Upright, which won the Montana Book Award for poetry the year is was published, 2002 I think. Lots of poems because I'm reading it right now and I'm loving it. ♥ And I promise they're not all about Maori and Pakeha.

Date: 2005-04-18 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greycolourgirl.livejournal.com
Wow, I really love these, they portray NZ perfectly. I really really like the first one, (it actually made me homesick) because that is pretty much what NZ is and what you grow up with.
Keep writing!

Date: 2005-04-18 04:46 am (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (Default)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
They're good, aren't they! But they're not mine, you seem to think they are, so just reiterating that ;). they're by Glann Colquhoun.

And yeah, that's why I love the first one because it's so much about what my country is and it makes me feel sort of patriotic (a very wierd feeling for me) and wanting to cry. ;)

Date: 2005-04-18 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rysade.livejournal.com
Those are fanTASTIC. I love them. I could learn so much about NZ just from reading them!

Date: 2005-04-18 09:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greycolourgirl.livejournal.com
Oh! Opps ^^ But they are still very good, I am defiently looking this guy up!
I wanted to cry on the first one too. I als like the one you edited in, about the mix of heratige ad would go home if they knew where it was.

Date: 2005-04-18 09:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insane-ophelia.livejournal.com
Wow. All those poems kick me in my stomach.

Also. Armageddon. IT WAS BLOODY FANTASTIC. DID YOU SEE THE DOM POST? YEAH, THAT WAS ME THERE. IN THE STRIPES.

Date: 2005-04-18 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] disturbed-kiwi.livejournal.com
This is the guy who wrote... um, what's it called.... Oh yes, 'Playing God' about how he's a doctor?

He's great but I need more More MORE.

Seriously, I don't own much poetry but I need to get his.

I really loved:
Once I dug a garden.
Some people think I am a blasted asian.

A problem while translating the Treaty of Waitangi

I am a cicil war.

Date: 2005-04-18 09:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] disturbed-kiwi.livejournal.com
As a wellingtonina, I'm assuming your familiar with shihad at least in passing?

Home again always brings a big ol homesick patriotism to me while i'm still in the country

Date: 2005-04-18 12:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chattycheese.livejournal.com
i like that treaty one. 'tis quite funny.

NZ poetry rocks.

vv

Date: 2005-04-18 09:39 pm (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (Default)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
:D Yeah

MM *nodnodnod* I wasn't going to put it in, and then I read it, and I was like... yeah, I have to put this in.

Date: 2005-04-18 09:40 pm (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (Default)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
Oh yeah of course. :D Me too! Actually, what's hurting me right now is the Muttonbirds I Wish I was in Wellington. *sniffs*

Date: 2005-04-18 09:43 pm (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (help from friends)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
*grins* Well, I don't know. I sort of feel like some of it's very much stuff you need to know to understand , if you know what I mean. But then again, that kind of poetry isn't really effective and sicne this is I guess you do, right?

Especially Bred in South Auckland. LOVE FOR THAT POEM. LOVE.

morningside for life

Date: 2005-04-18 09:44 pm (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (Default)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
I don't know, but I guess so because I know he's a doctor. Yeah, go look for his poetry! They should have it in libraries and stuff, he's really good!

Ow, should be civil war there *headdesk* typos...

Date: 2005-04-18 09:46 pm (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (Default)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
*laughing* Oh man, if you knew the kind of... see, to NZ the Treaty is like... in a way it's like the Constitution, not in that it's about what the country should be like (although some of it is), but in that it's a document that has really coloured the country. it's, like, a big deal. It gets fought about a lot. We have a whole government department devoted to it. The way he deals with it, I guess lightly and accurately, is charming because it's just so UNUSUAL!

It so, so does. ♥

Date: 2005-04-18 09:47 pm (UTC)
ext_2569: text: "a straight account is difficult, so let me define seven wishes" image: man on steps. (Default)
From: [identity profile] labellementeuse.livejournal.com
Mm, me too.

OMG HAHA REALLY?? SEND ME A CLIPPING I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GET IT HERE OMG!!!!!

Date: 2005-04-19 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miriamus.livejournal.com
Bred In South Auckland made me smile hugely. Thanks :)

Date: 2005-04-19 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chattycheese.livejournal.com
that makes it even funnier, in a wierd way.

vv

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