labellementeuse | Entries tagged with funny haha not funny peculiar

This is incredible. The best part about it is the way you would really only have to push the Listener a tiny, tiny bit to produce exactly this cover.

I laughed for like, five minutes straight.

This review of the Batman porn parody (seriously) (you're welcome) is pretty friggin' hilarious and refers to Barry Allen and porn parodies as spiritual brothers, which was a golden moment in my day. However, it also contains this sentence: "[The sex is] a little weird, but considering that it's a bunch of people dressed as Batman, the Riddler, Catwoman, Robin and Batgirl having sex with each other, you've probably already figured that out."

Come on, now. Batman, Catwoman, Robin, and Batgirl having sex with each other is pretty much an average day in the canonical DCU, never mind DCU fandom. (Robin/Batgirl and Batman/Catwoman are both classic pairings, of course, but since Dick slept with Babs it's like Batman slept with Batgirl, too. Plus of course Tim (then a Robin) and Steph (would become Batgirl) dated for like... most of the Robin run, although I believe they canonically didn't have sex.)

I don't think this anecdote is going to translate very well from real life, but

sixth_light and

thinkaholic insisted that I post it to allow everyone to mock me as appropriate. So.

I was at the emergency room tonight (not an actual emergency; I decided to go about five hours earlier, which is about how urgent it was. There was this thing with a purpura.) After a blood test:

Nurse: So, blood test! We're probably going to put a line in your arm in case we want to put you on a drip!
Me: Uh, what?
Nurse: Well, we might need to!
Me (thinking, but hey, I already know what you're going to do, you're going to put me back on 40mg of prednisone per day): Um, sure.
Nurse: *prods* Hmm, I can see all your old puncture marks! How often do you have blood tests?
Me: More than someone without ITP, less than someone with an actually serious blood disease. Like, duh.
Nurse: Well, I can't find a vein, so we'll just take blood!
Me: Oh good.

and quite a lot of waiting, I get a low-ish platelet count (24) so they drag me off to an an oservation ward and sit me on a bed (with Lucy and Mike, who, for the record, are totally saintlike and picked me up and dropped me off and waited with me for hours and generally went above and beyond the call of friendship.) Blah, blah, interns see me, a doctor sees me, half a dozen nurses see me, there is general chat about my recent history with ITP; every time a new doctor comes in I have to go through the whole thing again. (It's totally down to a fine art, go on, ask me about it.) Finally a doctor comes in and asks me about the dosages I've been on and that kind of thing. I tell her, she leaves. About five minutes later she sticks her head back in.

Doc: Were they planning on taking out your spleen at all?
Me (hearing "planning on taking out your spleen") Uh, WHAT? :O
Lucy & Mike: *pee themselves laughing at me, seriously, there are sick people around and they're busting a gut, honestly*
Me: Um, are *you* planning on doing it?
Doc: No, were *they* planning on doing it?
Me: No! Oh my god! (Actually, I am pretty well aware that a spleenectomy is the possible nect step but, gah, you don;t just *surprise* a person like that.)
Doc: Okay then, we're going to put you on 40mg of prednisone and give you a month's prescription of same, plus an appointment with your doctor.
Me: What a surprise.

So, adventures in land of Christchurch Hospital Emergency Room successfully and predictably navigated. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my stash of 2.5mg tablets, though... Save them until such time as they become useful, I guess, since I'd have to take sixteen of them to get my appropriate daily dosage. Speaking of, apparently there's a whole community devoted to ranting about prednisone,

deathtopred; all I can say is, wow, LJ, you sure have a lot of time on your hands. (Seriously, it's probably really useful for trying to manage some of pred's side effects.)

Aaaaaand speaking of side effects, now I know why I've been so goddamned bitchy lately; going back up to 40 will probably make me bright and cheery and ridiculously energetic again, hooray!

Current Music: highway to hell

New-to-me webcomic.... Newtown Ghetto Anger! (I know, I know, how could I not have heard of it before? Considering I'm from "the ghetto"... anyways. Some favourites:

Bagdhad Ghetto Anger: the final countdown

current events and sequel don't mention the war (funny just for the title)

Big Gay Internet Special 1 and Big Gay Internet Special 2 (highly recommend that last one...)

and my personal fave: why I don't write superhero comics and civil obedience

NB: the titles look serious. But they're funneh, honest.

ETA: OMG REMEMBER THE 2003 ELECTION? (no, not that one, the other one): united my ass AND road to nowhere (oh, spherical people, how wrong you were)

Current Mood: amused

All New Zealanders, and anyone who's seen any media coverage of a general election, MUST read Diana Wichtel's hilarious TV Review for this week, optimistically entitled "Getting Results," about the media circus on Election Night. At a friend's 21st until about eleven, I apparently missed the most hysterical lines from John Campbell in particular, who came up with such gems as

"Richard Langston is with us now. He looks like he's been sleeping under a bridge."

(On the TV1 panel's discussion of Clarkson, a running right-wing MP who grabbed his crotch in public- don't even ask)
"We have the crotch grabbers on this side and the non-crotch grabbers on this sid. And I'm sitting in the middle with my legs crossed."

(On the PM's parents leaving her house) "That's her mum and dad. Either that or the stress of the night has aged her considerably."

"I haven't had a clue all the way along. I haven't a clue. Go, democracy."

*wipes tears from eyes* Oh, John, you're bloody marvellous.

The entire article is hilarious, though, including an election to the fabulous Election Night Drinking Game, which I personally think should have got one of Russell Brown's Election Media Awards. These were also very funny, with an award for

The Quote You Never Thought You'd Hear going to Don Brash for "I don't want any candidates talking about their testicles, to be quite frank."

The People's Art Award to the Make Your Own National Billboard website.

Best Personae to John, Paul, George, Ringo and Yoko of KeepLeftNZ

But what really summarises the whole fiasco, to me, is the Strangest News Event Award:
"The campaign involvement of the Exclusive Brethren, who don't even vote? Bob Clarkson's left testivle? Pontell's ponytail wig? A bomb threat by a man demanding to talk to Helen Clark shutting down Taurange two days out from the vote? Another man's threat to fly a stolen plane into the Sky Tower on election night? The Green's Keith Locke carrying out his promise to run naked through the streets of Epson if Rodney Hide won? Take your pick. it was a very strange campaign."

New Zealand Aotearoa: You only wish your country's election campaign was as cracktastic as ours.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: everything looks perfect from far away

Still kind of talked out so today, instead of actual substance, I present you with Hamish McKenzie's Blogosphere Government in which he allocates seats to the Right and the Left on the quality of the major blogs for either side. 70-40 landslide for the Left (plus 10 in the Centre for Keith Ng, who I personally would have put slightly more left than right. But *shrug*) It's funny, especially if you read any of the blogs in question. Also, it makes a good point that Right bloggers are actually less literate than the Left, in terms of knowing how to use things like commas and apostrophes. The Left is also considerably more thoughtful. I especially like "Russell Brown: knows everything about everything and isn't afraid to let you know it" as both a pro and a con. ;)

Speaker has this very thorough- and impartial- breakdown of the energy policies of all parties currently in Parliament. The bit I find most interesting is that the Greens, who I haven't actually mentioned for months but are definitely my second-favourite party (It's the GE thing.), actually have the most sensible energy policy- and it's one I'd really love to support because it's incredibly environmentally conscientious as well. I only wish more people were aware that the Greens actually have science on their side- as approved by an energy engineer- beyond just the whole tree-hugging aspect which tends to make people think they're one-sided biased idiots, when they're the furthest thing from it.

Yesterday Speaker had this post on race relations and the election is fantastic. Do read it if you're at all interested in race relations between Maori and Pakeha as they stand now and under National's platforms.

In conclusion: Okay, I actually have no conclusion. So check out All Your Seats Are Belong To National. If you ever needed a reason not to vote for Brash...

Okay, National supporters, I understand that sometimes, when you're desperate or bored, cheap shots at the Labour leader's appearance or personal characteristics are just necessary. Hey, I've been known to do it myself, although I flatter myself that at least I don't usually abuse Brash's physical appearance.

But why would you spend the morning chalking "Helen is a man" and "Helen has a penis" all over the campus? Because let me tell you: there is only one response to that, and that is "But Don Brash hasn't got BALLS."

My icon has never been more appropriate.

I need to go home and change into something red now, because me and

sixth_light are gonna go watch Helen speak outside the library at 12.30 and for some reason when I got up this morning I must have though "I know, I'l wear BLUE today! Jeans, jumper AND skivvy. Sigh... I don't know that I actually have anything red except a hat, wristbands, boots and a too-small top, but NEVER MIND.

Vote Labour!

Current Mood: amused

COMMENT HERE even if you never comment or are too cool for memes or whatever. If you can't upload a song all you have to do is tell me what it is and I can probably get it off the hub. :P Only like 10 of y'all have answered and 71 people list me as a friend... ;)

yeah, that was pretty much pointless whoring. Um... look at my icon! It is pretteh.

deutscheami made the base, on the topic of which,

posticonic can NEVER do with enough pimping. BEAUTIFUL bases.

ETA: Ah-ha! A point!

So, reading this week's Listener, and it's pretty much all about The Election. Yeah, we're all shocked. Anyway, reading it, because Jane Clifton is way, way too right-wing to be writing two articles in that magazine (fsss, don't try to tell me she's not secretly rooting for Brash) I became sort of catatonic with terror about the coming election. Um. But then, there was a poem! it is of the awesome and I reproduce it here in full, with thanks to Brian Turner, who hopefully won't mind too much. :)

No Problem at All
After Brash and Key

As long as the country's always moving forward
and we're part of a modern economy
and you've all got a grip on the facts,
the reality is
there'll be no problem.

As long as you pay attention
to the signals you're getting
from the rest of the world,
no less,
and do it our way,
it'll be no problem. Get it?

As long as you remember
God helps those who help themselves
and there's no easy way to the top
there'll be no problem at all.

As long as you're prepared
to take it on the chin now and then,
as we all have to, and look to the future
we'll all be the better for it,
believe us, no problem.

As long as you accept that
all the money you receive,
however and from wherever,
if one can put it like that, is yours alone
there should be absolutely no problem.
Trust us.

As long as no-one dares argue
that there's a difference between
what you earn and what you acquire,
or cares about what you do to get it,
we can all agree there is no problem
and the country can progress
and become part of the real world.
That's what everyone wants, surely,
so there's absolutely no problem.

As long as you believe
growing inequality does no harm
to society,
then there's obviously no problem,
no problem at all.

And as long as you understand growth
has only one meaning,
and that's to do with finance,
more money in your pocket,
then there's no problem there, either,
no problem at all.
Trust us.

It'll be done and dusted by lunchtime,
not a problem.

--Brian Turner

10 political icons! All NZ politics, all pro-left. Some of them are quite funny though. ;)

Teaser:
1. Image hosted by Photobucket.com

( you say lesbian cabal like it's a bad thing )

As usual, free to gank, comment if you do, credit is nice but not essential. X-posted to

kiwi_ljs,

wellingtonnz,

christchurch,

kiwichicks

I am very funny. I am so funny I want to keep this for posterity.

Okay, so maybe it's not that funny, but posterity is still important, right? ;)

( Gian: *says something gross* )

Thank god for MSN at ten to two in the morning, that's what I always say.

... because I don't feel like poetry today anyway.

"I WILl NOT APOLOGISE!"
-Nynaeve Al'Meara

"As you wish."
-Westley.

"You people talk about the living and the dead as if they were two mutually exclusive categories. As if you cannot have a river that is also a road, or a song that is also a color. "
-Mr. Ibis
American Gods

"Never send a human to do a machine's job."
-Agent Smith
The Matrix

It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.
-Arthur Dent
The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"This is my last body. My last life. This is my revenge body. My kill-Arthur-Dent body. My last chance. I had to fight to get it too."
-Agrajag to Arthur
Life, the Universe and Everything

Yet there may be a light beyond the darkness; and if so, I would have you see and be glad.
-Aragorn
Appendix A, The Lord Of The Rings

Am I busy? Well, I've just got all these bulldozers and things to lie in front of because they'll knock my house down if I don't, but other than that ... well, no not especially, why?
-Arthur Dent
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say.
-Aziraphale
Good Omens

If the victorious army had to eat the fallen, war would become much less attractive.
-Belgarath
Belgarath the Sorcerer

What have I got in my pockets?
-Bilbo Baggins, to Gollum
The Hobbit

Less Lust through Less Protein, Eggs, Meat, Beans, Cheese, and Sitting.
-Billboard Sign
Neverwhere

*wails* too clever, too boring, to depressing, what is UP with me today???

*goes, very determinedly, to find Pterry*

"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."

-- Rincewind discussing Twoflower (Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic)

- "If you're going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark
tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might
not even still be there, you can forget it," said Rincewind sharply.
- "There is an alternative, then."
- "Out with it, man."
- "You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones
which certainly are there," said Twoflower.
Dead silence from below him. Then Rincewind said, accusingly, "That was sarcasm."

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

"Pardon me for living, I'm sure."
- NO-ONE GETS PARDONED FOR LIVING.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a city with a million inhabitants and no sewers is rather robust for poets, who prefer daffodils and no wonder.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

-- Discworld politics explained (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

*sigh* okay, that's a little better.

Ooh, la la. NOW I'm feeling better.

( Click here for picture spam!!!! )