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Customers Suck pt 5768492027
Sep. 22nd, 2006 11:36 pmNote to self: watching the last two episodes of Angel S5 for the first time is probably not a smart thing to do ten minutes before heading off to seven hours in retail hell. It makes you want to kill things with a sword, rather than smile and be cheerful to assholes.
Needless to say, the first ninety minutes of my shift were such a suckfest I lost my squee within moments of entering the building.
CARFUL OF TEENAGERS: *pulls up to pump 4, pumps gas*
SHOP: *is way too fucking busy, because dumbass manager is too cheap to pay enough people to cover a shift adequately*
TEENAGERS: *come in one by one, all get separate purchases*
TUI and DEAN, your friendly CSRs, to each TEENAGER: Have you got fuel with that? *smile*
TEENAGERS: Nah!
CARFUL OF TEENAGERS: *leaves*
TUI and DEAN: *clear the 20-person queue in record time*
TUI: Hey, Dean, where's pump 4?
DEAN: Did you not charge any of them?
TUI: The girls? nope. I did ask them, though.
DEAN: Crap.
Time passes, it is still extremely busy. There are several cars on the forecourt.
IDIOT: *walks up to desk, stares at TUI, says nothing.*
TUI: Hi! How are you?
IDIOT: Good, you?
TUI: ... good!
There is an awkward pause.
TUI: *makes wild guess* Oh, you have fuel? Are you $80 on #4?
IDIOT: Yup! *pays using Caltex card. You can't give cash out on a Caltex card, which means they are unforgiving of transaction errors.*
TUI: Bye now!
NOT AN IDIOT: Hi! I'm $80 on #4!
TUI: *looks out window, sees IDIOT getting into #3, which has $98* FUCK. Sorry, sir, there's been an accounting error, one second! *sprints out to IDIOT* Hi, sir! You told me you were $80 on #4, but you're $98 on #3! You need to come in and make up the difference for me!
IDIOT: HAHAHA! I didn't even listen to you! Hah!
TUI: Ha. Ha. Ha.
TUI: *processes about twelve different transactions between IDIOT and NOT AN IDIOT, including doing things you're TECHNICALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO DO with the till, like MANUAL FUEL SALES*
HUGE LINE OF CUSTOMERS: *gets twitchy* *thinks very clearly that TUI is incompetant*
IDIOT: *leaves without apologising*
TUI: *seethes* *is very fucking competent, thanks.*
More time passes!
DEAN: *goes on ciggy break*
TOTAL BITCH: *walks into store* *in very insulting, rude tone* Are you not selling gas today?
TUI: *is confused because, hey, there are three other customers in the store who don't appear to have had any problems* Uh, yes? Are you having difficulty pumping gas? If you'll give me five seconds to help this gentleman I can be out to help you!
TOTAL BITCH: I WENT TO TWO DIFFERENT PUMPS AND NEITHER OF THEM WORKED. Don't bother, I'll go somewhere they're prepared to do their jobs! *storms out*
TUI: *gobsmacked* *glances at screen* *sees that there's 20c on pump 3 and 30c on pump 6* THAT FUCKING BITCH WAS TOO DUMB TO REALISE SHE WAS ACTUALLY PUMPING AND JUST STOLE FUCKING PETROL. (A totally tiny amount, but it's the principle of the thing.)
DEAN: *comes back from break*
TUI: Man, you'll never guess what this horrible person just did!
DEAN: Jeeze, get over it, you need to not stress the small stuff!
TUI: ARGOMGWTFDKJASLJALKASJKASL *beats head against counter, causes concussion, is taken to hospital and doesn't have to work the next five and a half hours of her shift*
Okay, that last line is pure fantasy. But that-all happened within eighty minutes of my walking in the door. The morals of the stories are?
- PAY FOR YOUR PETROL.
- pay for YOUR petrol.
- don't be a bitch and then not PAY FOR YOUR PETROL.
I also was treated to the radio saying "And this week in the news. On Monday, newspapers revealed that Helen Clark's husband is in fact gay.* *kills things* *with a sword* *with Gunn's giant hubcap axe* *with my BRAIN*
( teeny bit of blather about Power Play and Not Fade Away )
In conclusion! Joss: Still funny, still a bastard, still awesome.
And finally! I am on the lookout for a couple of songs: I Fought the Law and the Law Won, by... I forget, There is No Depression In New Zealand by um, I think it's the Blam Blam Blams? and Jesus Walks by Kanye West. Will swap for whatever, just say the word.
Needless to say, the first ninety minutes of my shift were such a suckfest I lost my squee within moments of entering the building.
CARFUL OF TEENAGERS: *pulls up to pump 4, pumps gas*
SHOP: *is way too fucking busy, because dumbass manager is too cheap to pay enough people to cover a shift adequately*
TEENAGERS: *come in one by one, all get separate purchases*
TUI and DEAN, your friendly CSRs, to each TEENAGER: Have you got fuel with that? *smile*
TEENAGERS: Nah!
CARFUL OF TEENAGERS: *leaves*
TUI and DEAN: *clear the 20-person queue in record time*
TUI: Hey, Dean, where's pump 4?
DEAN: Did you not charge any of them?
TUI: The girls? nope. I did ask them, though.
DEAN: Crap.
Time passes, it is still extremely busy. There are several cars on the forecourt.
IDIOT: *walks up to desk, stares at TUI, says nothing.*
TUI: Hi! How are you?
IDIOT: Good, you?
TUI: ... good!
There is an awkward pause.
TUI: *makes wild guess* Oh, you have fuel? Are you $80 on #4?
IDIOT: Yup! *pays using Caltex card. You can't give cash out on a Caltex card, which means they are unforgiving of transaction errors.*
TUI: Bye now!
NOT AN IDIOT: Hi! I'm $80 on #4!
TUI: *looks out window, sees IDIOT getting into #3, which has $98* FUCK. Sorry, sir, there's been an accounting error, one second! *sprints out to IDIOT* Hi, sir! You told me you were $80 on #4, but you're $98 on #3! You need to come in and make up the difference for me!
IDIOT: HAHAHA! I didn't even listen to you! Hah!
TUI: Ha. Ha. Ha.
TUI: *processes about twelve different transactions between IDIOT and NOT AN IDIOT, including doing things you're TECHNICALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO DO with the till, like MANUAL FUEL SALES*
HUGE LINE OF CUSTOMERS: *gets twitchy* *thinks very clearly that TUI is incompetant*
IDIOT: *leaves without apologising*
TUI: *seethes* *is very fucking competent, thanks.*
More time passes!
DEAN: *goes on ciggy break*
TOTAL BITCH: *walks into store* *in very insulting, rude tone* Are you not selling gas today?
TUI: *is confused because, hey, there are three other customers in the store who don't appear to have had any problems* Uh, yes? Are you having difficulty pumping gas? If you'll give me five seconds to help this gentleman I can be out to help you!
TOTAL BITCH: I WENT TO TWO DIFFERENT PUMPS AND NEITHER OF THEM WORKED. Don't bother, I'll go somewhere they're prepared to do their jobs! *storms out*
TUI: *gobsmacked* *glances at screen* *sees that there's 20c on pump 3 and 30c on pump 6* THAT FUCKING BITCH WAS TOO DUMB TO REALISE SHE WAS ACTUALLY PUMPING AND JUST STOLE FUCKING PETROL. (A totally tiny amount, but it's the principle of the thing.)
DEAN: *comes back from break*
TUI: Man, you'll never guess what this horrible person just did!
DEAN: Jeeze, get over it, you need to not stress the small stuff!
TUI: ARGOMGWTFDKJASLJALKASJKASL *beats head against counter, causes concussion, is taken to hospital and doesn't have to work the next five and a half hours of her shift*
Okay, that last line is pure fantasy. But that-all happened within eighty minutes of my walking in the door. The morals of the stories are?
- PAY FOR YOUR PETROL.
- pay for YOUR petrol.
- don't be a bitch and then not PAY FOR YOUR PETROL.
I also was treated to the radio saying "And this week in the news. On Monday, newspapers revealed that Helen Clark's husband is in fact gay.* *kills things* *with a sword* *with Gunn's giant hubcap axe* *with my BRAIN*
( teeny bit of blather about Power Play and Not Fade Away )
In conclusion! Joss: Still funny, still a bastard, still awesome.
And finally! I am on the lookout for a couple of songs: I Fought the Law and the Law Won, by... I forget, There is No Depression In New Zealand by um, I think it's the Blam Blam Blams? and Jesus Walks by Kanye West. Will swap for whatever, just say the word.
