(no subject)

Wedding: bizarrely, total blast, complete with panicked dress-, shoe- and pantihose-shopping town hours before the event. Also included: all seven boys of my father's family, together again for the very first time for the first time since my poppa's funeral! Embarassing and inappropriate toast by one of said brothers featuring the phrase "Garth's sexuality was in question"! (In all fairness, he is 37, but still.) The wine-fueled emotional breakdown of one cousin who just split with her boyfriend! Very, very bad dancing! Six brothers on the same dance floor at one time, including Glen (who's deaf, so, you know, doesn't dance that much.)! Several cousins I haven't seen for seven years, including one I failed to recognise! (I last saw her when she was 8 and she's 14 now. So sue me.)

( bit of blather about wedding, family, etc )

(no subject)

dear boy-creature,
this is the poem I am writing to put firmly the distance between us.
I know! you're wondering:
             what do you mean,


             between          us?

that, my good acquaintance, is precisely the problem.

you're probably aware I have been watching you. mostly
when drunk, made indiscreet and slutty, cuddling a little
closer than is strictly decent. well, we have a history, you and me,
                                             it matters to me.

I know; it doesn't matter to you. I'm writing to absolve you.

            my broken heart
            is not your problem. never mind it!

all I
need is
a little
more time.

of course, let us not forget
you
        taking
                my
                                hand
that night, me giddy, you checking me out. oh yeah,
don't deny! you were so obvious we had a conversation on the bus
about the size of my tits, and my dedication to plunging necklines.


and the whole way home I was thinking, damn. he thinks I'm hot.


but that was a long time ago.
            (I know you remember that; you brought it up last friday,
            completely wasted, looking at me in my red boots fishnets another low-cut top.
            you do like to pass comment.

            well dear boy-friend, it was then I knew
            I had to write this poem.)
it would probably help
if you didn't mean well, in your uncaring sort of way. you never wanted
the responsibility of my heart.

and why should you have to take it.

so I'm writing you this poem, and wishing you cared enough to read it, but the whole point
is to be forgiving that you don't. I want to be flippant about it, I'm not
crying into my keyboard. So don't you worry, it's time for me to go.

all my love for the very last time,
not (quite) your ex girlfriend.



*siiigh* very unfinished but I'm thinking of submitting it tomorrow anyway - this one or the storm one from last week, rejuggled and retitled. thoughts??? also, anyone know the keyboard code for the upside-down question mark?