(no subject)

[labellementeuse]

dear boy-creature,
this is the poem I am writing to put firmly the distance between us.
I know! you're wondering:
             what do you mean,


             between          us?

that, my good acquaintance, is precisely the problem.

you're probably aware I have been watching you. mostly
when drunk, made indiscreet and slutty, cuddling a little
closer than is strictly decent. well, we have a history, you and me,
                                             it matters to me.

I know; it doesn't matter to you. I'm writing to absolve you.

            my broken heart
            is not your problem. never mind it!

all I
need is
a little
more time.

of course, let us not forget
you
        taking
                my
                                hand
that night, me giddy, you checking me out. oh yeah,
don't deny! you were so obvious we had a conversation on the bus
about the size of my tits, and my dedication to plunging necklines.


and the whole way home I was thinking, damn. he thinks I'm hot.


but that was a long time ago.
            (I know you remember that; you brought it up last friday,
            completely wasted, looking at me in my red boots fishnets another low-cut top.
            you do like to pass comment.

            well dear boy-friend, it was then I knew
            I had to write this poem.)
it would probably help
if you didn't mean well, in your uncaring sort of way. you never wanted
the responsibility of my heart.

and why should you have to take it.

so I'm writing you this poem, and wishing you cared enough to read it, but the whole point
is to be forgiving that you don't. I want to be flippant about it, I'm not
crying into my keyboard. So don't you worry, it's time for me to go.

all my love for the very last time,
not (quite) your ex girlfriend.



*siiigh* very unfinished but I'm thinking of submitting it tomorrow anyway - this one or the storm one from last week, rejuggled and retitled. thoughts??? also, anyone know the keyboard code for the upside-down question mark?

Comments

[disturbed-kiwi.livejournal.com]

e.e. cummings would be proud of that one.


You know, I like it, its just direct and descriptive enough for me, but it is one of those sort that make me question what makes a poem poetic. This could just be a very interesting letter rather than 'a poem.'

But I do like it.


So... How much did you draw from life, you saucy thing you?

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

you flatterer! but, yeah, I did experiment with it a bit - last week in class we were talking about "projective verse" which was the brainchild of this man called Charles Olson - the idea of projective verse is that it uses space as well as line to communicate, and also that the structure of the poem should come directly from the subject matter, not be received from outside like a traditional poem form. It's quite a cool essay he wrote describing it called Projective Verse (there's also a little bit on Wiki about it and him and the school he helped found, the Black Mountain poets).

re: life. Um, er, pretty much all of it? *double checks* ayup, all of it. I hardly ever make stuff up for my poetry, I'm not brainy enough. ;)

*loves*

[angry-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is wonderful; love the structure, love everything. I know I say this a lot, but you are very talented. Wish I could be a bit more constructive, but I'm not good ayt reviewing stuff.

Re: *loves*

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

You are so sweet. *hugs you*

[nzlemming.livejournal.com]

Nice piece.

Nothing quite as melancholy as recognising that love remains unrequited

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I admit I was trying for a sort of ironic melancholy so glad it came across. :P

[shoeless-girl.livejournal.com]

I really, really like this one.

And, erm, good luck with annoying boy-thing

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And, heh, thank you also. He's definitely a trial to me. ;)