(no subject)

[labellementeuse]

What's the proper response on TradeMe when you leave someone *very polite* neutral feedback for items that were frankly not as you expected, including the phrase "seller was handicapped by not knowing X", and the seller responds by flipping out and saying "DO YOU NO WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE HANDICAPPED? I DON'T TAKE THAT LIGHTLY. DON'T TRADE WITH ME AGAIN."? (I ended up apologising - but I'm not sure how I could have phrased that in a way that doesn't offer an insult - that was the most neutral phrasing I could come up with. The closest synonym to handicapped in this context is "struggled with" and frankly that seems nasty to me.) Am I completely wrong? Are people who talk about golf handicaps being insensitive? Can the word handicapped no longer be used without presenting an insult? (I mean - I am usually totally onboard with changing meanings of words and, for example, find the "that's so gay" construction offensive as well as puerile. But I had felt that handicapped in the context I used it in retains its original meaning.)

Comments

[amarynth.livejournal.com]

It might be a generational thing - 'handicapped' to mean what we now mean by disabled or physically challenged was much more common in the 80s and earlier, I think.

I think you could have probably said 'seller was disadvantaged by not knowing X' with the same meaning and not caused offense... unless the person was just fuming at not getting positive feedback and looking for something to get offended at, which, as others have said, this being the internet is quite likely. But whatever else handicapped has meant I think it's always maintained the meaning that you intended for it.

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

I'm well aware of it and it was in pretty common use the one year I tried out primary school ('94.) Its popularity is certainly decreasing, but I don't really think that's it.

Disadvantaged is a good one, I might hang on to that. ta!