This is just some whining about my job
Dec. 12th, 2011 10:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
labellementeuseThing I just typed in an email and deleted:
Yeah, I keep thinking that the problems at work are resolved, and they keep being absolutely dire and awful and my favourite co-worker is definitely going to quit and then I'm going to be all alone. Which is terrifying because - well, here's an example of how I feel about my workplace at the moment: I used the phrase "is he on her side?" seriously about workplace dynamics. Motherfucking ugh. I hate that kind of mindset. It's juvenile. It makes you (me) feel defensive constantly which makes you (me) over-read into everything. I don't want to bottle up and I feel like I HAVE to say something, but on the other hand, I don't know how to say anything in a professional mature way because I am so upset. Also, my workplace is ~unbureaucratic and ~egalitarian which translates into: there are no procedures for talking to people when you're unhappy with how work's going, especially when the people who are making you unhappy are your two bosses. Except one of them isn't technically your boss, but she's delegating all this stuff to you that used to be done by the person who she's supposedly replacing, except she's doing none of the shit he did (and this is not handover problems, she's been here for three months now) and it's. ugh.
It's now gotten to the point where it's affecting my life outside work. I owe![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sixth_light a beta and I'm way, WAY behind on Yuletide but I spent the weekend sitting on my sofa playing Build-a-Lot 6 and catching up on Leverage. Seriously, pretty much the entire weekend. My room needs cleaning and all my clothes are dirty. Plus, I feel useless all the time at work, and now I'm starting to feel useless outside work too. Small setbacks make me feel like bursting into tears - like the worst PMS, except it's all the damn time. I had such a moment on Wednesday night it was just, ugh. (Fortunately twitter was there for me. <3333)
I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I want to return to my usual fandom-food-and-knitting blogging but, you guys, I'm warning you, I don't know if that's going to happen any time soon.
On the plus side, I'm getting better at making gifs.
Feel free to tell the Cult of Nice to suck it if you want. (Hm, is "suck it" a misogynist colloquialism, a homophobic one, both, or neither? Should I just have said "fuck off"?) <-- that parenthesis = my thought process constantly atm EXCEPT the moment in a meeting today where I said something incredibly ill-advised to both my bosses. And by ill-advised I don't mean coarse I mean will-really-cause drama. Sigh.
Yeah, I keep thinking that the problems at work are resolved, and they keep being absolutely dire and awful and my favourite co-worker is definitely going to quit and then I'm going to be all alone. Which is terrifying because - well, here's an example of how I feel about my workplace at the moment: I used the phrase "is he on her side?" seriously about workplace dynamics. Motherfucking ugh. I hate that kind of mindset. It's juvenile. It makes you (me) feel defensive constantly which makes you (me) over-read into everything. I don't want to bottle up and I feel like I HAVE to say something, but on the other hand, I don't know how to say anything in a professional mature way because I am so upset. Also, my workplace is ~unbureaucratic and ~egalitarian which translates into: there are no procedures for talking to people when you're unhappy with how work's going, especially when the people who are making you unhappy are your two bosses. Except one of them isn't technically your boss, but she's delegating all this stuff to you that used to be done by the person who she's supposedly replacing, except she's doing none of the shit he did (and this is not handover problems, she's been here for three months now) and it's. ugh.
It's now gotten to the point where it's affecting my life outside work. I owe
sixth_light a beta and I'm way, WAY behind on Yuletide but I spent the weekend sitting on my sofa playing Build-a-Lot 6 and catching up on Leverage. Seriously, pretty much the entire weekend. My room needs cleaning and all my clothes are dirty. Plus, I feel useless all the time at work, and now I'm starting to feel useless outside work too. Small setbacks make me feel like bursting into tears - like the worst PMS, except it's all the damn time. I had such a moment on Wednesday night it was just, ugh. (Fortunately twitter was there for me. <3333)I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I want to return to my usual fandom-food-and-knitting blogging but, you guys, I'm warning you, I don't know if that's going to happen any time soon.
On the plus side, I'm getting better at making gifs.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-12 05:30 pm (UTC)Not that it is any help: the run-up to Christmas seems to be perfect for work-related friction.
I've had a similar few weeks and last week was me causing drama (which I've been able to cool down a little..) - the only difference is that I don't have the favourite co-worker leaving problem. (My closest colleague was off sick for a couple of weeks though and I had to share some of her workload on top of mine, though).
I hope you manage to find people at work to talk about this - I've come to realize that I will have to speak solo to my immediate superior about how I feel (I'm scared to death) and that involving other people was a waste of time and energy.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-14 08:12 am (UTC)