Baaaa: a cooking meme!

[labellementeuse]

First, a request: G/T (a local fancon for those of you from further locations) is coming up (*crowd goes wild*) and I offered to curate a vidshow themed around "Lord King Bad Vids". I might have fewer of these than I actually thought because some of my vid collection has gone missing somewhere, so I put the call out: what are your favourites? Any fandom, any pairing, any character, whatever you like.

Also, a meme.

Via a few people on my DW list:

Bold the ones you have and use at least once a year, underline the ones you use at least once a month, italicize the ones you have and don't use, strike through the ones you have had but got rid of. And (my suggestion) add any items that you have that aren't on the list:

I wonder how many pasta machines, breadmakers, juicers, blenders, deep fat fryers, egg boilers, melon ballers, sandwich makers, pastry brushes, cheese knives, electric woks, miniature salad spinners, griddle pans, jam funnels, meat thermometers, filleting knives, egg poachers, cake stands, garlic crushers, martini glasses, tea strainersbamboo steamers, pizza stones, coffee grinders, milk frothers, piping bags [actually I broke them all but I've not replaced them on the grounds that piping is not for me], banana stands, fluted pastry wheels, tagine dishes, conical strainers, rice cookers, steam cookers, pressure cookers, slow cookers, spaetzle makers, cookie presses (it belongs to the flatmate and as far as I know no-one's ever used it), gravy strainers, double boilers (bains marie), sukiyaki stoves, ice cream makers, fondue sets, healthy-grills, home smokers, tempura sets, tortilla presses, electric whisks, apple corers, apple slicers, electric skillets, meat tenderizers, mortar and pestle, pastry blenders, french-fry cutters, waffle makers, candy thermometers, stick blenders and vegetable choppers [I am interpreting this as a mandolin] languish dustily at the back of the nation's cupboards?

I have a tiny kitchen but if I could own any of these (and would definitely use them though who knows where I'd put them): a full-on food processor, a pasta machine (I love making my own pasta but rolling out is a pain without a machine so I hardly do it), a salad spinner and an electric skillet. Also I'd really like a funnel but I don't know what a jam funnel is? Perhaps a metal funnel to avoid melting plastic? (Or would metal be reactive to the heat? IDK.)

ETA in the interest of full disclosure: the cookie press may actually belong to me. Um, oops. Apparently I bought one and forgot about it (it's also a icing gun and I think that's what I was trying for. It's a terrible icing gun, fwiw).

What the hell is a banana stand or a fluted pastry wheel?

Finally, I said this on twitter about a hashtag game earlier that I'd like to preserve:

What I really like about #kishi: As a fatty, and also as a woman, I'm constantly told by the TV, the radio, my mother, my father, my boss what it's acceptable for me to wear. If I can get up in the morning and try to approach my wardrobe with a spirit of adventure rather than with a spirit of shame, a spirit of what won't make me look fat today, what won't make my mother tell me seeing the shape of my body in jeans and a t-shirt makes people uncomfortable, what won't make my boss tell me my body is distracting - if instead I can think "what's fun? What's colourful? What expresses me and how I feel today? What would make me feel better about today?" or even just "what do I like about this comfortable favourite old slopping-around-home outfit", I'm going to. -- via

For context: Claudia Kishi is a character in a 90s-era pulp series about a Babysitters' Club. She is an artist and wears unusual outfits (very!) which are routinely described by other characters and by herself in breathless tones. Much use is made of words like "chunky", "oversize", "patterned" and "funky". Claudia *always* looks fabulous, even when wearing a burlap sack. A twitter buddy of mine started a hashtag game, #kishi, in which you tweet the outfit you're wearing as if you were Claudia. Trackpants and a t-shirt? "Oversized t-shirt and billowy pants". Preppiest outfit on the face of the planet? "Chunky pearl earrings and oversized shirt". I had an argument today with someone who described the game as "ludicrous vain faux-ironic hipster bullshit", someone who felt that it seemed like a contest. Now, I have some sympathy with people who would just generally prefer not to think about what they're wearing and find the game upsetting for that reason but that's not where he was coming from and it pissed me off and that's the context for that tweet.

Comments

[caramarie]

Some of those, like 'apple slicer', I think are actually just called knives. Right? And I have no idea what this supposed cookie press I have is. :-/

I think a fluted pastry wheel is one of those things that looks like a pizza cutter, but it's got a wavy edge. So that your apple turnovers look pretty. I could eat an apple turnover right now.

[labellementeuse]

crazy robot Fassbender is upsetting but I too could eat an apple turnover now. ;.;

also re: apple slicer: yep, seriously.

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether you know about them and are just making fun of the concept (which my husband would probably do *g*) or haven't run across them, but there are these round items (ideally with handles on either side) that have a small ring in the middle and "spoke" blades going out to the frame, so you can core and slice an apple all at once.

Obviously, yes, you can use a knife. And you can sharpen a knife, whereas once one of these things goes dull I'm really not quite sure how to fix it, especially the coring bit. But I occasionally miss having one.

[caramarie]

I've never actually run across them! I was imagining some ninja thing that would also slice the quarters into thin pieces for stewing. Which is a bit harder to picture.

[persephone-kore.livejournal.com]

That is hard to picture. And strangely entertaining. :D

[hazel]

... what technically IS a Lord King Bad Vid? I've never understood it! (And I've got like ~850 vids saved, so I can probably come up with SOMETHING.)

[labellementeuse]

Fanlore has a pretty good explanation here but in a nutshell it's something really bad or really, uh, high concept like, for example, a McShep vid about John and Chara set to Jolene that just makes you revert to your horrible 13 year old self in sincerity.

[the_antichris]

A jam funnel has a wide, shallow...thingy. Whatever you call the bit with the hole. Basically a funnel optimised for jars and viscous fluids, so you don't get jam all over the bench when you fill your jars. My grandma has one and I want to steal it.

[labellementeuse]

Oh! that makes sense! Although I don't make jam so it probs wouldn't be that useful for me. Pretty though!

[birke]

A banana stand is a hook you hang a bunch of bananas on. My mother's looks like this: http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/patrice-banana-holder--bronze-by-spectrum

[labellementeuse]

... I kind of want one! Bananas make other fruits over-ripen so it kinda makes sense as a concept! despite also being kinda ridiculous. I'd get one of the ones with a fruitbowl underneath.

[birke]

It's really quite convenient in my parents' house. But I can see that the fruitbowl would make it even more convenient: If you have more than one bunch at a given time, or let your banana supply dwindle to one...