(no subject)

[labellementeuse]

What's the proper response on TradeMe when you leave someone *very polite* neutral feedback for items that were frankly not as you expected, including the phrase "seller was handicapped by not knowing X", and the seller responds by flipping out and saying "DO YOU NO WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE HANDICAPPED? I DON'T TAKE THAT LIGHTLY. DON'T TRADE WITH ME AGAIN."? (I ended up apologising - but I'm not sure how I could have phrased that in a way that doesn't offer an insult - that was the most neutral phrasing I could come up with. The closest synonym to handicapped in this context is "struggled with" and frankly that seems nasty to me.) Am I completely wrong? Are people who talk about golf handicaps being insensitive? Can the word handicapped no longer be used without presenting an insult? (I mean - I am usually totally onboard with changing meanings of words and, for example, find the "that's so gay" construction offensive as well as puerile. But I had felt that handicapped in the context I used it in retains its original meaning.)

Comments

[eavanmoore.livejournal.com]

1. No, using the word is no cause for offense. The seller's just reaching for a defense. (Possibly related: at least some disability activists prefer to use "disabled" because "handicapped" means one has a problem, rather than simply not being able to do something.)

2. I would still be cautious using it -- not eschew it altogether, but just listen extra-carefully to how the sentence sounds. There is almost always a way to recast if you're in a bit of doubt.

[labellementeuse.livejournal.com]

At least some disability activists prefer to use "disabled" because "handicapped" means one has a problem, rather than simply not being able to do something.)

And, in fact, I don't think I've ever used the word handicapped to mean disabled. (Which may be why I was so annoyed. Ugh.)

Yeah, you're quite right, of course. Ta :)